This post seems to have evolved into 2 parts! Last week, I wrote about creating the life you want in part 1. This is especially important for parents like us who are dreaming up a beautiful place to raise our families. The timing of this post, quite accidentally is Friday 13th January, which I am reading is the “day of the divine feminine”… make of that what you will, I found it interesting!
Today I want to break it down into 5 simple steps, because its important to realise it really is that simple.
1.Create a space
When I say create here, I really do mean get creative. We’re all busy parents with children, toddlers can be intense all hours of day and night, teens can need constant lifts and organizing, you’re trying to juggle work with your laptop on your head…. I get it, I really do. BUT your self care is so important and when you make time for it you are modelling that for your children, and showing them that not only is their care important, but yours is too.
So you may have to think outside of the box at first here. Your only free headspace might be in the shower. For others you are joined by extra small people so may not work. Another great place for headspace is on a car journey or commute, a walk with the buggy when baby sleeps, childcare if you have any, or failing all else and not a popular choice for parents trying to make a change but a little children’s tv really is ok… if it means that you are going to keep your sanity and make positive changes in your life. I feel a blog coming on about screen time but that is for another day!
2.Remove the noise
Now I don’t know about you, but when I first find my space, my head wants to remind me of my never ending to do list, the fact that I really should think about potty training soon, will I be able to time the changing of the cat litter with getting the bins out this evening, and how much (insert annoying person here) has irritated me.
Does this sound familiar? The way that listening to Florence Scovel Shinn read aloud helped me was that it FORCED me to focus on lessons I wanted to learn, beliefs I wanted to hold and it took me out of the circumstances I’m in. After all, that is NOT where I want to be, but by sitting indulging in it I was creating more of it!
So, the trick here is to find a trigger: it could be music, audio books, the feel of the shower or whatever else it is that REMINDS you to throw out the every day thoughts and begin to call focus to where you want to be.
3. Start out very simple
Once I had gotten rid of the to do list and everything else that came into my head I then had to find a starting point. OK, universe! I want more of what I want. Wait now.. WTF do I want?
This was a stumbling block for me and still is some days because we might start out by thinking for example “I don’t want my child in nappies anymore” “I don’t want this person to treat me like this anymore”. But what I’m learning is that the universe doesn’t seem to understand no. Like my autistic children funnily enough it just hears “I want my child in nappies” “This person treats me like this”
So the next simple step in to flip the script. “I am able to see my child potty trained” “ I DO feel respected by this person”
You might have wider goals for example “a bigger house”
4. Be specific
There’s a temptation at this point to try to create “world peace” and by that I mean coming up with enormous goals that will impact the future. These are wonderful and noble but it can be difficult to work with in a short amount of headspace timeslot, and we can go off topic and our minds can wonder into places we don’t want eg. “why did the world have to be this way?”
Instead we want to focus on something specific to us. Let’s pick something many parents want… harmony between 2 siblings for example.
We can start by saying, seeing or just imagining what happens if the 2 are at peace that day. Here come the specifics: I wake up and my 2 girls wake up. We all go downstairs and eat breakfast together. Conversation flows pleasantly. I am able to brush daughter 1’s hair, and then daughter 2’s hair one after the other, they smile at each other and are grateful (YEAH I know… I am making this up this hasn’t actually become my reality )
5.FEEL the whole experience
Now that we have our scenario in mind, we are daydreaming and in that mode we become creative and open to new suggestions. But what does it FEEL Like?
You have woken up in your new big house, your daughters have tidy hair, the littlest IS potty trained and you DID get the bins out in time INCLUDING the cat litter.
And how do you feel? How does your heart feel? How does your mind feel? What are you wearing? This is where you get into all the little details and literally FEEL yourself becoming this person with these goals accomplished and more to come.
This is the truest secret to creating your own reality!! You are becoming the vision you have created.